Lessons my Priest Taught Me

I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore.

We were so involved with our Catholic Church in North Carolina.
We volunteered every weekend, hosted fundraisers and often had dinner with our Priest. We have never been able to find a church like what we had while living in Raleigh.

One of our family priests was like family to me. I would stop by his office often and use our time together as if he were my therapist.

One day, while sharing with him the ongoing challenges I had with my mother, he gave me three pieces of advice.

-Don’t leave her alone with your kids.

-Don’t have her come to your house anymore.

-Always meet her at a third location so you can choose when to leave the situation.

I was shocked when he told me these three bullets of advice.

It wasn’t until months later that I realized that he saw that she was an addict before I did.

He knew she was suffering from mental illness in addition to her addiction.

He knew from what I was sharing that she wasn’t healthy for me or any of us.

He also knew how to deliver advice with love without defining the reality.

I wasn’t ready to see how bad things had gotten for her.

As her addiction increased, I was able to prepare myself with the tools he gave me.

I went on to use those pieces of advice and protect myself from a relationship I had no control over: A relationship that had grown to hurt me for many years.

Decades ago, I would have been at the Ash Wednesday Mass volunteering along side Father Ingham.

I think of him so often at this time of year.

I think of how, for a brief and monumental time, he assisted me greatly.

He perhaps has no idea how, in many ways, he saved me from more pain.

How many of us have no idea of the impact we’ve made on others.

I truly believe we support each other more than we ever realize.

I want to share gratitude for him for being a part of my journey. And a reminder that we all play a part in the lives of one another.

Maybe it’s for a few moments.

Perhaps a bit longer.

Sometimes the most pivoting moments in our lives happen in a flash, yet they live with us forever.